I had another very big stressing moment happen to me today. I read an email that instantly got my blood boiling. My jaw clenched, my eyes narrowed, I lost all awareness of things happening around me, my shoulders, spine, and Self turned into a turtle shell.
I wish I could say exactly why or how I thought what I thought next, but I'm unable. I only know that I became aware of my Self breaking up into little hard parts. Then less than a minute later I remembered my A/O joint. A deep breath was allowed in. I took in my surroundings. My jaw unclenched. I lengthened, widened, and deepened. And most exciting and interesting was that after I noticed these physical changes occurring, the next thought that came into my head was, "There's nothing I can do about this email right now; and it's quite possible I am getting carried away with my emotions. Maybe I do not fully understand what the email is saying". How awesome is that?! I think that is totally rad that thoughts can inspire AT and AT can inspire thoughts.
Even though I am unable to explain why or how I became aware of my Self, I'm very thankful that I did. It is becoming a little easier for me... little bit by little bit.
Of course, this all leads me to wish I could be this "with it" (utilizing AT) while I'm mad, sad, upset, frustrated, hurt etc. etc. My instinct says, all of those feelings are normal and needed in my life... where AT can help me the most is in the recovery of such strong feelings and emotions. How odd would it be if I remained the "good Alexander student" through a very tough time. I'd be like a Zen Zombie or something. Yuck.
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