Confession

So, I need to confess that sometimes I feel anxiety when I am getting ready to write a post for this blog.  My brain goes into pressure mode... "I need to write something smart & witty" or "I'm not sure that what I have to say is interesting enough so maybe I should just pass on writing today"... you get the idea.  A couple of times these thoughts have crept into my conscious mind I have recognized and named them out loud as Fear.  That alone has helped me to Pause and reevaluate where that thought stems from.

I was talking with my AT teacher, the fabulous Sarah Barker, about this just the other day.  And she was so thrilled for me.  Ha!  Sometimes I think it's so funny the things that get us AT people excited.  Anyway, she pointed out to me what a wonderful time of experimentation this blogging thing could be for me.  I will be (and am) practicing INHIBITION when I blog.

For kicks, I'd like to attempt to explain what I know Inhibition to be.  Simply put, it's allowing a Pause to happen before I do something (anything).  Within that Pause, I will Direct myself.  So, if I am cleaning in the kitchen thinking about what I am going to blog next, I might notice some physical tension or tightness.  I will then Inhibit (Pause and Direct).  Then, I might sit at the computer and have the impulse to think of something "brilliant" to write.  I will Inhibit again.  And again.  And again.  

What am I Inhibiting exactly?  My old habits... my reactionary patterns to a stimulus.  Have you noticed your patterns?  Some of mine include: tightening of the jaw, shortened breaths, blinders on my eyes so that I zero in on my target.  The Inhibiting allows me to take a moment to say to myself, "sure, I can go ahead and allow my old habits to happen but what would happen if I consciously take a breath, Think Forward and Up, then acknowledge and become aware of my whole environment.  Typically what happens is that I find myself more centered, more in control (but not in an aggressive way), lightness, and freedom in my whole body.  

How much time does this Inhibiting take? I think at first when one is learning it, it can take a few moments.  But after time, patience and practice, Inhibiting will become the new habit and will most likely become like an automatic response.  This is my guess... I'm still taking my time when I Inhibit.  So, writing this one blog has taken me a little longer than my habitual self would have liked.  BUT, I can happily say that my body (and Self) are happier, healthier and thankful for the extra time.