Inclusion and Exclusion

I had the opportunity to attend an AT workshop this past June in Charlottesville, VA at the Seven Oaks Retreat Center.  The workshop was organized by Jan Baty - here's her website: AT at Seven Oaks

I was in a group session with Jan teaching and we began to explore this idea of inclusion and exclusion.  The exercise was that we decided (through thought only) to include our partner.  Include meaning - accept, offer space, and to encourage a connection with that person.  The next part of the exercise was to Exclude (through thought only) our partner.  Exclude meaning - push away, ignore, & discourage a connection.  I was BLOWN AWAY at the power of thought.  Even though I was privy to what my partner was doing to me (including or excluding) it brought back childhood memories of wanting to fit in on the play ground... it was a deep, instantaneous understanding of inclusion/exclusion that was very familiar to me.

I found this exercise EXTREMELY helpful for where I am as an AT teacher trainee.  Sometimes, when I'm practicing giving a lesson, it is so easy for me to want to include my student so very much that I lose myself.  Or I find that sometimes when I am overwhelmed with my own life I might exclude my student (consciously or unconsciously) and... well... that wall would not be helpful to my student or to me!

I have been thinking about this exercise for a few weeks now.  I am realizing that it is something I struggle with on a daily basis.  I want so very much for everyone around me to feel included, welcomed, and connected that I drain my own energy.  In other words... I can be inclusive all I want, but I do not have any control over whether or not the student chooses to be included.  This exercise has helped me understand that I have my own Self - I always will.  I am here breathing my space and I am choosing to include this person.  If they are choosing not to be included, then I am alright with that.  For whatever reason, they are where they are and maybe if I continue to include them, without losing myself, they might choose to open up a little to our connection.